As a parent we are constantly reminding our kids to say 'please' and 'thank you'. We start this from when they are really young by saying it for them, then helping them to say it for themselves (say 'Taaaaa'). I must say, unfortunately, I'm still reminding them!
As we enter into the an joyful season of Christmas I'm reminded of what my life should be an example of, an attitude of gratitude. As I go about my mundane duties of cleaning, washing, cooking..... and the list goes on..... I can get bogged down with the thoughts of how much work needs to be done to make the house just look presentable. A few years ago I was challenged in my thoughts towards my home keeping with the thought that first of all that this is a privileged job, yes job, that I have been given to care for my family as the primary care giver and home maker. As my husband goes to work each day and works hard all day to 'bring home the bacon' so should I 'work' as hard to give him the bacon and all the trimmings.
The second thought I had one day while I was grumbling to myself about how much washing up I had to do when so tired from looking after 2 toddlers and a bub, I had a voice come into my head saying "at least you have this amount to wash up". Then later on that day looking around the house the voice continued "at least you have more than one room in your house, at least you have more than the clothes on your back to wear", I think you get the idea. From then on I have always tried to look at my home duties in this new light of gratitude for all I do have not on what I don't.
We have a friend from America who came over for dinner and taught us a 'game' they play every time they sit down for dinner. We don't do it every meal but we have continued it every so often, I think that this will become our new (occasional) tradition. This game is call 'what was your high (of the day/ week/ year, whatever you choose)', 'what was your low', and 'what are you thankful for'. As everyone around the table said their highs, lows, thankfulness we first of all find out how their day was and to end each thought with thankfulness. A positive note, this is a great habit of looking at the good in every day.
As we come to Christmas I think it is a great time for all to reflect on about what you can be thankful for. Maybe you might like to join us this Christmas in playing this 'game'.
I'll start, My High for this year is finishing my course and new family work opportunities, My Low has been learning that I can't do everything (as much I'd like too), I'm Thankful for the best family who supported me and gave me space to do assignments and readings to complete my studies.
I would be honored if you would share with me so I could rejoice and empathize and Amen those things that impacted your life this year. Praying you all have the most amazing Christmas celebrating with family and friends and thinking about what I think the biggest reason for the season is, that we all should be Thankful for ......the birth of our Lord......Jesus......Our Saviour!!
from my heart to yours,
Peta
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
One week off from the kitchen cooking!!
One week off from the kitchen cooking, doesn't that sound good? Most of you would say...... IMPOSSIBLE!!! Well it can be done with a little forward planning and a few extra storage containers (some people even do their baking cookies and cakes).
With Christmas literally around the corner, I was thinking after a week of preparations and cooking up a storm for the Christmas feast wouldn't it be great to have the following week off from cooking?
Well lets think about this and break it down. Go and have a look in you pantry and take inventory then do the same for your fridge and freezer. Now you know what is in them grab yourself a coffee and a pen and paper and grab a few of your favourite cooking books and start to think of meals that you can make for dinner during the week that can be frozen and then reheated. Now think instead of making just enough for the family for one night now double it for two nights, and if it is a family favourite maybe 3. In these hot and humid days even different salads stay well in the fridge you just might have to have those sides used earlier than others or even tinned salad side. While you are making the meal for that night you are also making it for the next week.
I've done this a couple of time now and I tell you what I don't have to worry about what to decide for dinner or even on a busy day trying to get home to cook it in time for the family to enjoy and whingeing at me "when's dinner ready?" at 7/7:30 at night when in reality they should be getting ready to settle down for bed.
So I'm thinking..... I might have a 'No cooking week' from Boxing Day till New Years off from cooking..... mmmmm, I think I might. Now I put the challenge out.... Who is going to join me and enjoy the celebrations by giving yourself a prezzy for a whole week of no cooking?????
I'm always interested in new recipes for these 'No cooking weeks' so if you have found one that works and the whole family loves I would be interested to know, and I'm sure as all those busy mums and dads would like to know too. For those who have been able to spread their 'No cooking week' even longer..... Do tell!!
Well I'll leave you with it and can't wait to see who is going to join me in this coming week of 'double batching'. Have a great festive weekend and I'll talk to you all on Monday for my next article.
from my heart to yours,
Peta
With Christmas literally around the corner, I was thinking after a week of preparations and cooking up a storm for the Christmas feast wouldn't it be great to have the following week off from cooking?
Well lets think about this and break it down. Go and have a look in you pantry and take inventory then do the same for your fridge and freezer. Now you know what is in them grab yourself a coffee and a pen and paper and grab a few of your favourite cooking books and start to think of meals that you can make for dinner during the week that can be frozen and then reheated. Now think instead of making just enough for the family for one night now double it for two nights, and if it is a family favourite maybe 3. In these hot and humid days even different salads stay well in the fridge you just might have to have those sides used earlier than others or even tinned salad side. While you are making the meal for that night you are also making it for the next week.
I've done this a couple of time now and I tell you what I don't have to worry about what to decide for dinner or even on a busy day trying to get home to cook it in time for the family to enjoy and whingeing at me "when's dinner ready?" at 7/7:30 at night when in reality they should be getting ready to settle down for bed.
So I'm thinking..... I might have a 'No cooking week' from Boxing Day till New Years off from cooking..... mmmmm, I think I might. Now I put the challenge out.... Who is going to join me and enjoy the celebrations by giving yourself a prezzy for a whole week of no cooking?????
I'm always interested in new recipes for these 'No cooking weeks' so if you have found one that works and the whole family loves I would be interested to know, and I'm sure as all those busy mums and dads would like to know too. For those who have been able to spread their 'No cooking week' even longer..... Do tell!!
Well I'll leave you with it and can't wait to see who is going to join me in this coming week of 'double batching'. Have a great festive weekend and I'll talk to you all on Monday for my next article.
from my heart to yours,
Peta
Sunday, December 12, 2010
To obey or not, that is the question???
Threats, bribes, 'rewards', shouting, nagging, counting (either to 5 or 10 or sometimes both) anything to get your kids to do what they are told when they are told to do it..... right now!! All of these things may accomplish the task at the expense of a parent who is exhausted and tired of repeatedly telling them to do something which may end up in tears, and not only from the child. I know some times we just want them to do action, but my question to you is, what is more important the out ward appearance or the heart? Have they not already said 'no' in their hearts if you have to get to '5' or '10' or threaten them with something you may not even have the intention to follow through in? It is easier to change an action than it is to change a heart. For me, it is my primary objective to train the heart. This is where first time obedience come in.
Do you expect that when you ask your child is told to do something that they will do it first time? Maybe that is part of the issue that you are struggling with? A child WILL live up to your expectations if you give them the opportunity to and you believe that they will.
As mentioned in my previous article, in parenting we like to proactive. One of the many ways we have tried to help our kids to obey first time started when they were young (crawling and toddler phase). My hubby used to play this game with them and he would call it a game of 'who can come to me first'. What he would do is in an excited voice he would get the kids to pretend they were playing in their rooms and then when he called them by name then they would have to say "Yes Dad" ( to acknowledge that they heard him), then they would say "I'm coming" (to say the action they were intending on doing) then they would run out of their rooms and give him a big rumble hug for being obedient. We would do this a few times to reinforce the desired response. At this point they were not allowed to say 'hang on' or 'wait a minute' as we were working on first time obedience. I'll discuss how we handled these 'hang on' comments in another article to come. If we ever have times when they are struggling with their first time obedient responses we would look at their abilities to make decisions and see if these were age appropriate and whether it was giving them to much freedom. We must remember that we as parents know best and we have the ability to judge and assess what our kids can and can't handle, not them. The ability to choose the clothes they want to wear and the type of foods they want to eat is not a right it is a privilege. Our children do not know the difference...... so pick you privileges and battles wisely.
It is not to late to get first time obedience and to train the heart. It may just might take a little more strength and a little more creativity on your part. You may have to re look at all the privileges that your child(ren) have and see if any are causing a stumbling block for them that stop them from being able to obey first time. I must say that even though my children are far from perfect they (and we as parents) get complements often on how well behaved they are and it brings great joy to my heart to know all that hard work is paying off. This to can be said about your children too.
I know for some of you this may be a radical or even a scary thought ....... Can I really get first time obedience from my child? My answer to you is YES!! At the end of this you will have a more content and happy child which will bring forth a content ad happy family. Isn't that we all want??
Please feel free to post or contact me on how you have been going with this thought. I would love to hear how you have either found a creative way to see first time obedience in your child(ren) or any struggles that you're dealing with.... maybe some out their will have a solution for you!
from my heart to yours,
Peta .
Do you expect that when you ask your child is told to do something that they will do it first time? Maybe that is part of the issue that you are struggling with? A child WILL live up to your expectations if you give them the opportunity to and you believe that they will.
As mentioned in my previous article, in parenting we like to proactive. One of the many ways we have tried to help our kids to obey first time started when they were young (crawling and toddler phase). My hubby used to play this game with them and he would call it a game of 'who can come to me first'. What he would do is in an excited voice he would get the kids to pretend they were playing in their rooms and then when he called them by name then they would have to say "Yes Dad" ( to acknowledge that they heard him), then they would say "I'm coming" (to say the action they were intending on doing) then they would run out of their rooms and give him a big rumble hug for being obedient. We would do this a few times to reinforce the desired response. At this point they were not allowed to say 'hang on' or 'wait a minute' as we were working on first time obedience. I'll discuss how we handled these 'hang on' comments in another article to come. If we ever have times when they are struggling with their first time obedient responses we would look at their abilities to make decisions and see if these were age appropriate and whether it was giving them to much freedom. We must remember that we as parents know best and we have the ability to judge and assess what our kids can and can't handle, not them. The ability to choose the clothes they want to wear and the type of foods they want to eat is not a right it is a privilege. Our children do not know the difference...... so pick you privileges and battles wisely.
It is not to late to get first time obedience and to train the heart. It may just might take a little more strength and a little more creativity on your part. You may have to re look at all the privileges that your child(ren) have and see if any are causing a stumbling block for them that stop them from being able to obey first time. I must say that even though my children are far from perfect they (and we as parents) get complements often on how well behaved they are and it brings great joy to my heart to know all that hard work is paying off. This to can be said about your children too.
I know for some of you this may be a radical or even a scary thought ....... Can I really get first time obedience from my child? My answer to you is YES!! At the end of this you will have a more content and happy child which will bring forth a content ad happy family. Isn't that we all want??
Please feel free to post or contact me on how you have been going with this thought. I would love to hear how you have either found a creative way to see first time obedience in your child(ren) or any struggles that you're dealing with.... maybe some out their will have a solution for you!
from my heart to yours,
Peta .
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Proactive or Reactive?
We are brought up in a world of reaction. To be proactive takes time and work, it doesn't just happen, you put things in place to make it happen. I like to look at parenting like this.
I would like to start this first blog with a little history about my husband and myself. A couple of years after we were married, before we had children, we decided to start attending parenting courses. We wanted to be the most prepared and as equipped as possibly could to be the best parents as we could (and we do have the most amazing kids, definitely far from perfect but still amazing). Some people thought we were a bit nuts but we had a plan in mind..... to be proactive.
We did this with every new stage of our kids lives. We have tried to bring being proactive into every facet of our lives (like our marriage etc.). As I said before it takes time, especially when you are trying to train a toddler to share, to train a child to think other than self, to respect other peoples property when we walked into other peoples houses. We did all of this through proactive play, and not just for our eldest one, thinking it would filter down to the other two but to individually train each one from the source (us as parents) so there is no confusion in the message that is given to each one.
Our goal, and I hope yours too, is not to have good kids but to have great and responsible adults who have the skills to make educated and wise decisions as they go through the journey of life. So I ask you to think of this week creative ways that you can proactively parent so you can set your child and family for enjoyable life together.
If you have any creative ways you that you have found successful please share them with me and those who follow...... we all have different parenting styles and different approaches to suit our kids and our value systems, you may be able to help someone today with your kind advice.
Blessings Peta
I would like to start this first blog with a little history about my husband and myself. A couple of years after we were married, before we had children, we decided to start attending parenting courses. We wanted to be the most prepared and as equipped as possibly could to be the best parents as we could (and we do have the most amazing kids, definitely far from perfect but still amazing). Some people thought we were a bit nuts but we had a plan in mind..... to be proactive.
We did this with every new stage of our kids lives. We have tried to bring being proactive into every facet of our lives (like our marriage etc.). As I said before it takes time, especially when you are trying to train a toddler to share, to train a child to think other than self, to respect other peoples property when we walked into other peoples houses. We did all of this through proactive play, and not just for our eldest one, thinking it would filter down to the other two but to individually train each one from the source (us as parents) so there is no confusion in the message that is given to each one.
Our goal, and I hope yours too, is not to have good kids but to have great and responsible adults who have the skills to make educated and wise decisions as they go through the journey of life. So I ask you to think of this week creative ways that you can proactively parent so you can set your child and family for enjoyable life together.
If you have any creative ways you that you have found successful please share them with me and those who follow...... we all have different parenting styles and different approaches to suit our kids and our value systems, you may be able to help someone today with your kind advice.
Blessings Peta
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