..that make you go .....Aahhhh (#sigh)

There are some places that you go to, or know you are on the way to, that just make you go ....Aahhhh. 
                          
For us, Michael (hubby) and I, it is the round-a-bout at the junction of Wyong Rd and The Entrance road. We both take a deep breath and go Aahhhh! This is the place where we turn to go up to our favourite swimming hole call The Entrance Baths. It isn't far from our home, about 25 minutes, but it is where we both find our place to relax and breath..... Aahhhh. Where we get time to be uninterrupted with each other and our kids. To have fun, swim, walk by our favourite landscape, the beach. At times we can have the whole Baths to ourselves. This is were we get to recoup from the week.  Were we get to explore and let time pass us by. Were we get to be adventures, if we want to, or sloths. Not worrying about what we have left behind..... you know, like when you go on holidays. We just love that all we have to do if we need a "holiday" is to drive about 25 minutes north and we arrived ready for our quick break away!
                           
As you can see I have painted a big picture of how much we love it and how important that is to us, and there is a reason for this...... I believe that everyone should have a place that is their "holiday" for them. We all need to find a place or activity where we can have some "head space". To reboot the systems, refresh the mind, to clear the airways. 

I remember, and still love, that when the kids were little my Aahhhh spot was when Michael had taken the kids out of the house (so I couldn't hear them or see them) and I could have an uninterrupted shower, with no noise, no fighting, not asking questions through the door. Just time for me!  Bliss!!!!!
Another one our times alone, and Aahhhh moment, is just Michael and I is going for about a 5km walk in the morning. I especially find this important when Michael travels and I need some me time.

Where is the thing that makes you go......Aahhhh? You can tell me or just bring it back to your memory. Is it time you revisited it? How often do you need your Aahhhh time? We are all different and have and handle different stresses in our lives differently. I hope you are all ready to take that "holiday" again this week. Would love to hear where you went! Maybe you might have some ideas where others may have no idea where to start. Have an awesome week being an explorer, sports star, a proof reader, or a sloth.

Life = Jigsaw puzzle

My hubby posted this on our business facebook page. I loved it so much I thought I might share it with the rest of the world (hehehehe). I pray that it speaks to you as it already has to many.


                                   
 
                                       
Everything I learnt about in life I learnt from a Jigsaw Puzzle!

Don't force a fit. If something is meant to be, it will come together naturally.

When things aren't going so well, take a break. Everything will look different when you return.

Be sure to look at the big picture. Getting hung up on the little pieces only leads to frustration.

Perseverance pays off. Every important puzzle went together bit by bit, piece by piece.

When one spot stops working, move to another. But be sure to come back later (see above).

The creator of the puzzle gave you the picture as a guidebook.

Variety is the spice of life. It's the different colors and patterns that make the puzzle interesting.

Establish the border first. Boundaries give a sense of security and order.

Don't be afraid to try different combinations. Some matches are surprising.

Take time to celebrate your successes (even little ones).

Anything worth doing takes time and effort. A great puzzle can't be rushed.

What to expect, when you're expecting

I know when you saw this title you assumed that it would be a blog about births, babies etc..... That was your expectation. Expectations are a funny, and sometimes not such a funny thing. Quite often we associate expectations with people or things not being met. Being let down, disappointed, angry,....... and the list could go on and on with all the other emotions.

Sometimes we expect more than is reasonable, or they step up to the challenge.

Like our friends and family, we have such high expectations (most of the time unrealistic).

Or our children, we expect too little of or from them.

Sometime we are the ones that have high or heavy expectations on ourselves.

And sometimes we are expecting someone to do something that they haven't even been told to do?! I know, you think that is crazy but we all do it.

Other times we allow others expectations hold us back, or even worse hold us down, from what we are really meant to be doing.

Now comes REALITY, the let down. Let's live in reality.

Lastly,

it is time to change ourselves and what we EXPECT of others to do or to be done for us.

Expectations often lead to disappointment. Expectations are full of assumptions, and the only person they will make an ass of, is YOU! Let's keep it simple. Don't assume what hasn't been discussed. Only go on what you have been given. The only expectation you SHOULD have is, to expect the best from others and yourself. People in general are trying to their best in what life has thrown them. It is time for a change in what you expect...... I expect that this is a lesson that we will continue to learn. 

Blessed are the flexible for they shall not break..... and keep on willing to learn it!

There’s something between us

I’ve been reading this amazing book called “Winning with people” written by John C. Maxwell. This book is all about fostering and working on, and most of all valuing good relationships. It is what makes the world go round.

 The thing I like most of all about this book is a chapter called The Situational Principle. The key point I got out of this is that if you value your relationships, not to put the situation you are going through with this person (especially if it is wasn’t good and hurtful words were said) before your relationship/ friendship. Keeping a good relationship or friendship is hard work and quite often forgiveness (not forgetting) is required. One of the quotes in this book spoke to me loudly is "It is more rewarding to resolve a situation than to dissolve a relationship".

Good friendships are worth fighting for. That is why we are alive and come alive......................... for relationships!

My husband and I have run a number of Pre-Marriage and Marriage courses. In these courses they talk about putting this issue out in front of you. This means that this disagreement you are having, don't make it wedge between you and make that the issue. Start to come together and discuss how we together are going to find a solution to that problem. An old counselling term "the problem is the problem". Let's try and keep it that way. 

Now it is your turn. Here is my question to you that the writer of this book posed to us, "Do I sometimes put situations ahead of my relationships?"

I want to encourage you not to think only of all your adult friendships/ relationships but also those you have with your children (if you have any). 

Now you have that answer what are YOU going to do about it? It is my EVERY DAY decision to try and make sure that no situation, especially with family, means more to me than the relationship.

I know you can do this too!

Discipline is a funny word

When we think of the word discipline we conjurer up thoughts of being in trouble, of times at school looking at a wall or writing lines or even worse scab duty (picking up the rubbish around the school). What if I told you that I believe the word discipline is supposed to be a good word, there to help you and put you in a place to receive favour and blessings. I decided to look up the word to see what the dictionary came up with. So here it is...... Discipline (the first line of the meaning) is "Training expected to produce a specific character or pattern of behavior, especially training that produces moral or mental improvement." Sure you get the other meanings of correction etc. after that but I think this proves my point. I know that we have to "discipline our bodies when trying to get into shape which also includes "disciplining" ourselves to eat right. I could be even just seeing something you have started through to the end no matter how you feel about it or how happy you are with what you have done so far. It is seeing it through to the end. At the moment I'm learning a new facet of this word called Discipline.



Over a week ago I started decluttering our house. I wanted to do it all in 2 weeks during our school holidays. Looking at it now I think it was an unreasonable expectation but discipline is saying to me even though I haven't done most of it (but still alot, 3 bedrooms, a bathroom and the cupboard under the stairs) that I should continue to finish no matter how long it takes. As I do want to do a great job of it not "she'll be right" with what I have already done and just clean up the other rooms, which is very tempting to do!  I have also decided that this week it would be double batch week. With life going back to normal school term, I didn't want to pressure of the first week of back to school and trying to get home in time to feed the troops. So that means that this week I make double batches of everything (I mean everything) and then freeze the second batch for the next week........ NO COOKING FOR A WEEK (just reheating)!! Imagine the difference that it could make in your house hold for that week.

Well time to stop chatting and getting on with this decluttering, no matter how long it takes. Hope this inspires you to get disciplined in what ever is in front of you at this moment.

So who is going to join me for double batch week?
I would love to hear what you are getting disciplined in and how you are accomplishing this. 

Have a blessed and favored week as a result of you being DISCIPLINED!!

Do you ENDURE or ENJOY life?

We all know the famous saying "Life wasn't meant to be easy, but it was meant to be enjoyable". I have been having this battle with myself for, I must say, quiet a number of years concerning money. Do I spend, how much do I save, how much is too much? You know those questions we ask ourselves when we have more than ourselves to think about. They aren't stupid questions, they are just questions that come up when dealing with day to day life of a family. Money can play such a controlling role in our lives.

As I was sitting on my exercise bike this morning in our hotel gym listening to the bible being read to me via my phone (I am loving this new way of doing exercise and not get distracted by the kids or turning on the tv............ which will then turn encourage my children to sitting around me while I am doing my exercises), I was lead to think about the phase from Ecclesiastes (as what was read to me was Ecc 1-7) "Everything is meaningless", which to tell you the truth is quite depressing!! But reading it in context with all that the writer is trying to say, is that whether you have a little or you have a lot of money (that is the part that is meaningless) you should enjoy life and be happy with every stage you are at.

 At the moment our family is in the middle of saving mode. We are saving for a family overseas holiday. We have the destination picked, we know how much we have to save and we are all ready to enjoy to fruits of our hard work and sacrifice. We are all going to have times of lean and time of plenty in our finances. Your plenty at times are not always going to look the way you wanted, e.g. not having a few hundred or thousand dollars to throw around, but you will have times when you have an extra ten, fifty or even one hundred dollars to enjoy. So ENJOY IT!! In the middle of all this 'meaningless' was a quote from Ecc 3:13 which says "...people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor, for these ARE (my highlighting) gifts from God."  We can't take our money with us when we die. So why not enjoy ALL that has been given to you for your hard work and start investing and creating memories with it. Don't let money be the reason why you don't do things as a family. Be wise with what you've got but enjoy the ride. Be generous with what you have, this includes time, resources and money. Invest in your chosen relationships, know your seasons and enjoy YOUR journey!

"Life wasn't meant to be easy, but it was meant to be enjoyable"

The List.

All of us have some sort of lists that we make for ourselves each day. They can be verbal lists, physical lists (either written or typed into a computer/phone) or the memory list ,which we all know we have heaps of them but I don't know if I could trust my lists from memory. These lists can be quite overwhelming when we take time to think of all the things we THINK we need to do for that day. These lists can also be condemning when we put our worth or value on how good we are by how much we get done in a day. Of course we never let ourselves off the hook when external circumstances come into play, NO we don't.

I know I'm not an unreal house keeper all the time. I quite often have 3, no 4, interruptions at least a couple times a day. "Mum, I don't know how to do this question", "Mum, I hungry", "Honey, I think it's time for a morning tea coffee". Does this sound somewhat familiar? Plus making the house function with meals, washing, cleaning, taking the kids to school/ preschool and the list goes on just to make get through the basics of this day. I'm exhausted just writing all this down!! And that is only just the physical strains of the day let alone all the emotional ones that can creep into your day.

For a while I was getting overwhelmed with all my "things to do" then I had to stop and reassess on what was important for me and my family to function. Again, what was important to ME and MY FAMILY. We live in a very intense and pressured life these days. I think we all take on more pressure than what is necessary. I must say I do like lists but when lists get in the way of what is important (not urgent) I believe that is where most of us go wrong. When vacuuming gets priority before you child who is needing a hug. When a tidying up the lounge is before enjoying the company you have invited over. When dying your hair comes before going on a family outing. I'm sure you could list your own reasons (excuses). Lately I've been reading a book called 'Winning with People' by John Maxwell. This book has made me look at what is important in life like relationships over whose right. Life is about others. So, I think that my lists should be a combination of what I need to get done, what I'd like to get done and what time I make to spend with those around me for that day. Our lives are so ridged that we can't fit in those things that we really do need to do like kiss your children, have a coffee with a friend, lay on the driveway and look at the stars with your hubby. Life is to short to look at lists all day long and the people that love you looking on with 'I wish you would................................' eyes.

Have lists but also have a life that you enjoy with the people you enjoy in it!

Who says "The Jones'" have it all??

We all know the saying "keeping up with the Jones'" or "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence".............I'm sure you could add a few more...........
My question to you is "Who says 'the Jones' have it all anyway"? This is a perception. An uninformed perception. It is a common occurrence for us all to look at what we don't have. We look at each others to compare stylish clothing, the new car, the latest gadget out, my list could go on and on. We all consciously  or unconsciously make those judgments or wishes. Is that grass REALLY greener over there? We don't know what is done behind closed doors. Or how they treat each other. Or those family quality time sacrifices that they have made to keep up with their 'Jones'' to earn those extra bucks.

Lately I have been thinking on instead of we don't have, being grateful for what we DO have. Maybe we don't eat out at restaurants all the time, we don't have the brand new car or the latest fashion but you know what..... I just glad that we have all the clothes we need, enough food to feed my family and friends, a car (which makes us in the top 5% of the world), we have a roof over a head.We also are a family together, loving each other.Our house is a place of safety, encouragement, a place of freedom to be yourself, to be child-like and have fun, acceptance, where you can explore the worlds questions without judgement, for our children and friends ............WE ARE BLESSED!
Quite often our perception of how we see the world is put a skew by how we see ourselves. This change can not come from your outward circumstances but how you change those voices in our heads. At the moment I am reading the book "Winning with people" by John Maxwell and it has a quote in it which I would like to share with you all as it sums it up nicely. "When I was young and free my imagination had no limits, I dreamed of changing the world. As I grew older and wiser, I discovered the world would not change, so I shortened my sights somewhat and decided to change only my country. But it, too, seemed immovable. As I grew in my twilight years, in one last desperate attempt, I settled for changing only my family, those close to me, but alas, they would have none of it. And now I lie on my deathbed, I suddenly realised: if I only had changed myself first, then by example I would have changed my family. From their inspiration and encouragement, I would have been able to better my country and, who knows, I may have even changed my world."
So, are you ready to be happy again...... not by changing your exterior but renovating the interior?
Let's start by being happy for what you have and looking after what you have been given. Being generous with what you have in your hand. It doesn't have to be much but start with what you have. I believe that when you start with changing just those two little things you will see success and joy follow you. It can't hurt to give it ago.

You Always, ..... I Never

When Mike and I got married almost 17 years ago (wow that's a long time ago), the Minister delivered a message in the service talking about "if you find your self saying always and never in your marriage where does forgiveness fit in?" (he said in around about way). It's funny the things you remember. 

Have you ever had one of those moments in life when a light bulb goes on and you hear yourself say..... "Ahhaaa". I was reading in the Bible in John the other day (if you are not a Christian or believe in the Bible bare with me) about "Doubting" Thomas. When Jesus first appeared to them Thomas wasn't there. Thomas said to them I won't believe unless I see it for myself. The second time Jesus turns up and shows himself to his disciples and Thomas was there. This is where I had my "Ahhaa" moment. 

I'm not focusing on what Thomas did but on those (the disciples) around him. When you read it for yourself, they weren't trying to convince him of Jesus resurrection, they didn't go "see I told you so". They stood back and let Jesus come in and do the work. He was the only person who can change that persons belief or disbelief. 

Quite often in life we are the ones trying to change or convince everyone else around us (OR OUR SPOUSE) when it is not our job. One of the best things that I have learnt over the past few years is that you can't change those around you. You can give them your opinion or how it makes you feel but the only REAL change that can happen is when the change comes from within. They have to have their own "Ahhaa" moment. As a Christian I believe the best thing we can do is to pray for them. I know that can sound like a cop out but we can't change the internal. It is their choice to change.

I think that the Minister had it right. If we keep on saying "You always, ..... I never" did you really forgive (or is that give space for forgiveness to take place), can your relationship move on to be healed. I believe that a relationship is to serve one another not what I can get out of it, no matter what your partner views your relationship. It is amazing what happens in a relationship when you change your view of it, which will in turn change them or the way you view them. Just try it for a few weeks and please give me feed back on how it went for you. I know you will be amazed!!

Smelling like roses when manure is around your feet

I love this quote "Life wasn't meant to be easy BUT it was meant to be enjoyable". I know it sounds like a contradictory of terms BUT it is all about how you view life and what it means to you.  Life IS hard, some times more than others, but what are you going to focus on?? 

I always say to my kids when they are trying to blame someone or something else that when you are pointing that finger how many are pointing back at you? And the answer of course is 3. Try it and have a look yourself. So the way I look at it is that you are 3 times more responsible for that undesirable outcome. We all try and make excuses. So first of all STOP making excuses and come up with solutions. 

Secondly, (and this is a biggy) forgive.

I can hear you all say HOW???? Well the short truth of the matter is that it is your choice to forgive. It doesn't mean forget or that there are no consequences. What you have done is released yourself from the weight of trying to get revenge or justification and right a wrong. This is liberating!!!!

(after forgiveness you feel exposed, unlovable and you have your guard up like those thorns)

Thirdly, look after yourself. This doesn't mean go on extravagant holiday or on a wild spending spree. This means put yourself around people who build you up, who you can confide in. This also means, that if  you have been under a great deal of stress go and do something you love like read a book for a few hours or go for a walk. I know for myself it's having some alone time and watch a couple of DVDs while laying on my bed  or having a shower with no one else in the house and enjoy not being interrupted and the quiet. Or it could be as simple as going to bed early.

(a little TLC)

Fourthly, GET BACK ON THAT HORSE AGAIN!!!! After you have done all of the above don't keep yourself away from life as there is so many things that will bring you joy. Even if it has been past hurts with relationship, the joy is when you either reconcile or find a new friend who brings great fun, love and encouragement to your life. There is always tomorrow, a new day, a fresh start. 

(now you can be whatever colour you want)

Live outside the box. Life wasn't meant to be easy BUT it was meant to be enjoyable!!

From My heart to yours, 

Peta

What's your reason for this season?

We can all get a little carried away with the Festive Season of Christmas. Most of us love this time of year. Time to get together with our loved ones. To party. To eat. To have some time off work. But then comes the thought of presents....... kids love them...... but the thought of braving the shops during this time of year is just doing your head in!!

Like the picture about, I believe it was suppose to be simple!

Friends and family gathering together to share a meal and remember what the true 'reason for the season'...... to be THANKFUL. Thankful  for friends. Thankful for family. Thankful for your health. Thankful those blessings that were sent your way during the past year. And for our family, we are most of all thankful for Jesus. For being our strength when we had none. For being that still small voice that encouraged and lead us this year. For being that unconditional friend. For not judging when we knew when we were wrong and being a gentleman, waiting for us to own up and say sorry. For giving us favor far beyond whatever we could hope or dream this year as we put Him first.  For give us all of yourself even though we don't. THANK YOU JESUS!!

During this time of Christmas what are you going to choose to remember? Enjoy this season and be thankful and you will notice the difference it can have in your Christmas holidays this year. 

Merry Christmas to you all. Look for the good in everyone. Enjoy each moment with family and friends.

BE BLESSED!!

The family I want

Having a family you say is easy. And I'd say back to you "Yes it is but,....".Now I pose to you a question which I believe that most of you have never really thought about, 'Is this the family I want?'. Most people would say 'Do I have a say in what my family looks like?' and to that I would say a BIG "YES!!!!!".

 If you have a chance take a piece of paper and write down things you like about your family, then on the other side of the paper write the things that you don't like. Does the list of 'good' out way the 'bad'? If not, you are not alone. Most people would say that the 'bad' dominates the 'good' and the light is getting dimmer as they get older. BUT, I said it is getting dimmer not out. You still have a HUGE say on what your family looks like and to make changes for the better not only for yourself and the children but for the bigger picture of society and how they are going to cope in it. Are they just going to survive it or be the leader and excel and love their lives. 


George Bernard Shaw "Life wasn't meant to be easy, my child, but take courage: it can be delightful!"

This is what we should be showing our children. There are seasons of ups and downs and sometimes more downs than ups but as I said they are just seasons. We can choose to live there or show our children that circumstances don't tell us how we feel or act.


I'm not going to say that this is going to be easy but is taking an active role in making it happen for your family. First and for mostly you and your partner need to be on the same page and each others champion. You are going to choose to demand respect (as you give them and your partner respect), have a good bed time (as you do for yourself), help them see that they are apart of a team and them chores to help the team (as you are to your partner), have fun (as you do for yourself and with your partner)...... are you seeing a little pattern here??


We need to model it! 


Start little. Choose one thing. You can't change your family over night but you can a little at a time.


As we head to the end of the year and into the new year what are you going to change about your family life? It doesn't have to be perfect but it does have to reflect what you want for your family. Be proactive, be encouraging and have fun as a family. 


Life was meant to be enjoyable!!

NO! = Maybe = Yes

When did it happened? When did that determined "NO!" become "Maybe" to then a reluctant "Yes"?

When they were little it was absolutely "NO!" and nothing would deter you from that "NO!" Then the next little darling came along..... hence the permanent jet lag....... then came the "Maybe". And lastly that precious last cherub(s)...... now your in zombie mode...... now it's "Yes" (do it quickly, quietly and don't bug me again about it so I can sleep some more).

We have all done it. We have all regretted it. We all have just said to ourselves "What have I done.... I'm creating a monster". And the truth is YES we are...... but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. One day in the not to distant future you will sleep through the night again (I know you don't believe me but it will happen). One day you will have more than "No ....." in your vocabulary, even if it is that you have to force yourself to find something you can say Yes to (YES you can have a drink of water....).
So why wait till your gorgeous tribe don't look so gorgeous to you or those they come in contact with. Start with today and start small!


1. Pick your battles wisely. In and out of the public eye. Ask yourself these 2 questions, "Is this something that can be handled better at home?" and "Really in the big picture, at this moment, does it really matter?"
2. Pick 1 thing that you are going to concentrate on for that next week or so till you get obedience in that area.
3. Make sure you reward (not bribe) the child and yourself for sticking at it!


I know that I couldn't of done it with out my hubby beside me encouraging me, playing tag team and giving me much needed time out when needed (sometimes a few times a week). If you don't have any support..... go and get it! You can't do this alone, especially if you are starting this when your children are older and have formed long lasting habits. It is not impossible, just need to be even more certain on what you say Yes and No too.
Now it is up to you. Get support. Pick a time to start. Pick only 1 thing to work on.
Oh yeah, and look after yourself! You need to be the best you can be to be the best for your family! Go for regular walks, eat well, sleep well and remember to laugh!


So tell me, what is your families biggest issue at the moment?

It's time to Celebrate!

This Christmas are you wanting it to look like this?

.....were all getting along like one big happy family??

In reality this doesn't often happen!

So what are you going to do about it? Did you know that we all play out our part in the family either consciously or unconsciously? That's right I said we play a part.... you play a role. Look around and watch those who your hanging out with, they to are playing a role in the group you are in now. One might be the whiner, one the 'life of the party', one the sulker, the one that is just rude, the know it all..... etc.

You can play the role you normally play or you can chose to not play that role at all and watch as it changes the whole dynamics of the group. Yes, you can change what Christmas this year looks like for you! What a liberating thought!

Now play the role of how you want to see your Christmas be this year and watch it happen!! I'm not saying that others may still play their roles and try to pull you back down but you don't have to join them. They are not going to influence the type of Christmas celebrations that you are going to choose to have.

This is a choice. What do you choose this Christmas?

I choose this year no matter what happens around me to enjoy every minute with my family and friends however THEY come (not me)! I choose to only engage in uplifting conversation! I choose to not worry about what could of, should of or would of but what is right now!

I know that you WILL all have the best Christmas time together this year because you have already predetermined what it is going to look, feel and sound like to you this year!

Enjoy your lead up to this beautiful and joyous time of year!

What you are you going to change to make this your best Christmas ever?

Fear-free children

Do you have children who are afraid of the dark? Or their bed? Or a dog? As you know the list can go on.
I have come across a great book called FEAR-free children by Dr Janet Hall. I actually found it in the library! I liked it so much that on the day before it was due back I went on-line and found it on eBay, bought it and received it the day after I took it back to the library. This is a very practical book (which I love) with lots of "how to" ideas on how to recognise, address and overcome those very real fears of our children.

Here is just a few pointers that the book covers for parents:
-how to set realistic expectations of anxiety and confidence levels for both children and parents;
-to understand how fears are categorised and developed and when they are a concern;
-how things can go wrong and what to avoid doing;
-strategies for helping children with anxiety and fears; and
-how professional coaching can help.
They also have real stories and a children's section that encourages the child to design his own 'plan to be fear-proof'.

It is a really easy read with real things you can try with your child(ren).
A HIGHLY RECOMMENDED READ!!

from my heart to yours,

Peta

Are you speaking their language?

To my followers, I'm sorry it has been such a while since I have written. I have had this message on my heart for a little while now and have now the time to write what I feel is an important skill in every family life. My question to you is, how do you know that you are loved and appreciated in your family? For me it is when my husband organizes some special time together, like a date night/ weekend, or my kids go and do things for me without being asked (and yes, they do do it). My next question is, how do you show love? Quite often we show love in the way like to be shown love. This can get tricky when you're showing love to a particular family member and you're not getting the response you thought they would show. Maybe, just maybe they don't hear the words 'I love you' because the action you are using isn't how they feel loved or hear love.

One of the best things we started early in our marriage was to actually ask each other is what makes you feel loved and affirmed (for men)/ appreciated (for women)?  We didn't just want to guess as we really didn't know exactly what it is was that makes each of us tick and because we loved each other we want to get it right not just assume!


When our kids reached a certain age we were also able to "read" them on what makes them feel loved in the family (plus the with the help from the 5 love languages for kids book). As you have found with your family, each one is so very different. Isaiah (our son who is 11) we were able to see that whenever we spoke harshly to him he would take it very personally and on the positive he loves it when we use words to encourage him. His second way he feels love is spending quality time with either Michael or myself on date nights. They have become a great way to get just a couple of hours one-on-one to see how they each are going and to speak anything particular into their life. Hannah-Rae (our daughter who is 9) is a girl who doesn't care what we are doing as long as it is together. She loved just spending quality time with either one of us. My last date night with her was that we drove down to Davistown Park with an ice cream of her choice in hand and walking up and down by the water. She came back saying that that was the best date ever!! Scored!!! Leah (our other daughter who is 7 going on 16) just loves hugs, hugs, hugs, climbing all over us, sitting on our laps, kisses and last but not least, more hugs.


Now you couldn't of asked for more differences to be in one family! The challenge is for us to every day/ week/ month/ year to keep speaking THEIR language. In the book, The 5 love languages by Gary Chapman, he breaks them down into 5 groups. They are Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Gifts and Acts of Service. In his books he talks about primary and secondary love languages. (I have the links to this book on the links on the side of my blog under the heading "Things I like to read".) As life changes so can your love languages. I know that when my kids were little my primary love language was Acts of Services..... and all you mums with little ones say AMEN!! Now they are growing up and I don't need as much help to keep on top of things it changed to Quality Time, and I'm sure that it hasn't finished changing. So this is a subject that must be revisited periodically to make sure we are all feeling loved and accepted.


Have a think now on what your love language is, how do you know that you are loved? Now think about the rest of your family. Now book in a time to discuss it with you family, even and open forum ( if your children are old enough) so they can be apart of helping each member feel loved and a valued part of the family. I know this has help me connect with my children on times when all I was saying to them was NO all day long or a personality clash. It has brought our family closer and now I find my girls using words to encourage Isaiah and hugs to Leah and play with time for Hannah-Rae. It really does work, not only for your immediate family but also extending it to your friends to make them feel loved. They are going to feel so special!!!


We all given different gifts and different ways we hear, feel and express love. That is what makes every person and family so special. We become whole when we each find our acceptance and love in our families so we can go into the world with the knowledge that there is a family there behind us a hundred percent no matter what and we can feel, hear and see it for ourselves.


It is such an honor to share with you all and I hope that you will find this as helpful as we have that has helped us to create a loving whole family to be a light and a inspiration to those around us. In 2 Timothy 1:7 "For God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power , love and a sound mind." In God we can help recreate that "power, love and sound mind (peaceful mind)" by speaking their language of love to let them know how special they are to God and us. I would love to hear your thoughts on this and any other advice that you may of found that works for you and your family.


from my heart to yours,


Peta

Keep on learning- Be Inspired

There are quotes going around that "Leaders are Learners" and "Leaders are Readers". I would have to agree with both of them. As a mum some times it is hard to think of yourself a leader. Well have a look behind you...... do you have someone following you?....... well I guess that would define you as a leader. Surprise!!!


There are two different types of books I read, one is for pleasure and the other is to grow me. In some seasons I am spending more time on growing me than on pleasure and visa-versa. What season are you in right now? I have just come through the past 2 years of growing me as I have just completed my Advance Diploma of Christian Counseling. By the end I must say that I had enough of intentionally GROWING!! So in saying that you can now tell in what season I'm in at the moment..... PLEASURE......mmmmm I like the sound of that, let me say it again......PLEASURE. This definitely doesn't mean that I stop learning through the books I have chosen to read in this season of pleasure. At the moment I'm interested in Biographies. I've just finished a book on Smith Wigglesworth "The secret of his power". It is a short book, written by Albert Hibbert. I can say that is was the best book I've read or even that great. But it was INSPIRING!!


My family and I went to a friends house for dinner and as conversation progressed and the food was being served she brings out the most amazing but unusual salad, a Watermelon Summer Salad which has watermelon (obviously) with red onion, feta cheese, olives and mint.......it was really refreshing. Which then lead to the discussion about the book it came from. I have spent most of this morning reading it. It is what I would call a biography about her journey of she became the hostess that she needed to become to the Glory of God.  It is called "The Reluctant Entertainer" by Sandy Coughlin. And I must say I am INSPIRED!!


So what has INSPIRED you of late or do you need some INSPIRING? I hope I have done this by opening up your eyes to who we are (leaders) and that you can become a better you by observing, reading and expanding your knowledge of what ever interests you. Open your doors, open your windows to new adventures that are waiting for you and your family right outside your door or your next book.


I know especially when my kids were little I found it challenging to make time for reading of any sort but I know that we all can make time for those things that we call important. I am a big believer that reading different types of books is important, if anything, to make space for "me" time.


If you're interested in the book I've mentioned, please check out the link and her blog in which you can find her receipe book in there.
If you have a biography that you have read that you might think I would be interested in please tell me about it!


From my heart to yours,


Peta

Let's start the year off right!

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and Salutations!!

I know that a lot of you have started or have written a 'new years resolution' or goals for the coming year. They may look like, to lose some weight, to get healthy, to go on an overseas holiday or just to even take a holiday, to spend more time with the family, to buy a home, to earn a certain amount of money. These are all great goals. The only question I have is ..... Who is going to look after you? I believe to be the best you can be we have to be a bit selfish. To us mum's this sounds like a 'sin'. On the contrary it is the opposite. To do the best you can be this year you need to take time out of 'doing' for everyone else and start 'being' for yourself. This will look different for everyone.


When was the last time you did something for yourself? It doesn't have to be expensive or take a lot of time. Just time on you. I believe the way to having a healthy home is to have a mum/ dad released not to feel guilty on spending some weekly time on themselves. To find their own unique way of revitalizing and refreshing themselves with what they like to do.


When the kids were little and a hubby away from the house at least 12 hours a day I had to find ways of looking after myself to get 'me time'. One thing I used to do was to make every Friday night was a night of pampering. The kids would be put to bed a little earlier than usual so I could paint my nails, have a foot spa and watch a favorite movie and still be able to get to be at a good time so I would be functioning for the next day. As a couple we would also do date nights. These would be done 'in house' to save money on baby sitters (not every time). I would cook a favorite meal, have candles on the table, and yummy dessert then we might give each other a back massage. This is great for two reasons, 1 to create stability in the children to show that Dad and Mum love each other (and to spend some quality time together not talking about the children), and 2 it builds on expectation and creativity when it is your partners turn. Be creative but don't turn it into a chance to out do each other...... think of how you can spoil each other.


I know that when I have had "me time" I can then handle coming back to reality and feeling like I have had a break of being mum for a couple of hours and just being me!


When was the last time you took time out for you? Maybe you need to start booking in "me time" and "date nights"?


I know I'm always trying to think of innovative ways to have "me time" and "date nights in", I would love to hear what your "me time" and "date nights in" look like so I and others can benifit from your creative ways to look after yourself.


I know my goal this year to look after me more so I can be the best woman, wife, mum and friend that I can be this year. Hopefully it will become of yours a well, because I want you to be the best YOU you can be!!


From my heart to yours,


Peta

Attitude of Gratitude

As a parent we are constantly reminding our kids to say 'please' and 'thank you'. We start this from when they are really young by saying it for them, then helping them to say it for themselves (say 'Taaaaa'). I must say, unfortunately, I'm still reminding them!

As we enter into the an joyful season of Christmas I'm reminded of what my life should be an example of, an attitude of gratitude. As I go about my mundane duties of cleaning, washing, cooking..... and the list goes on..... I can get bogged down with the thoughts of how much work needs to be done to make the house just look presentable. A few years ago I was challenged in my thoughts towards my home keeping with the thought that first of all that this is a privileged job, yes job, that I have been given to care for my family as the primary care giver and home maker. As my husband goes to work each day and works hard all day to 'bring home the bacon' so should I 'work' as hard to give him the bacon and all the trimmings.

The second thought I had one day while I was grumbling to myself about how much washing up I had to do when so tired from looking after 2 toddlers and a bub, I had a voice come into my head saying "at least you have this amount to wash up". Then later on that day looking around the house the voice continued "at least you have more than one room in your house, at least you have more than the clothes on your back to wear", I think you get the idea. From then on I have always tried to look at my home duties in this new light of gratitude for all I do have not on what I don't.

We have a friend from America who came over for dinner and taught us a 'game' they play every time they sit down for dinner. We don't do it every meal but we have continued it every so often, I think that this will become our new (occasional) tradition. This game is call 'what was your high (of the day/ week/ year, whatever you choose)', 'what was your low', and 'what are you thankful for'. As everyone around the table said their highs, lows, thankfulness we first of all find out how their day was and to end each thought with thankfulness. A positive note, this is a great habit of looking at the good in every day.

As we come to Christmas I think it is a great time for all to reflect on about what you can be thankful for. Maybe you might like to join us this Christmas in playing this 'game'.

I'll start, My High for this year is finishing my course and new family work opportunities, My Low has been learning that I can't do everything (as much I'd like too), I'm Thankful for the best family who supported me and gave me space to do assignments and readings to complete my studies.

I would be honored if you would share with me so I could rejoice and empathize and Amen those things that impacted your life this year. Praying you all have the most amazing Christmas celebrating with family and friends and thinking about what I think the biggest reason for the season is, that we all should be Thankful for ......the birth of our Lord......Jesus......Our Saviour!!

from my heart to yours,

Peta

One week off from the kitchen cooking!!

One week off from the kitchen cooking, doesn't that sound good? Most of you would say...... IMPOSSIBLE!!! Well it can be done with a little forward planning and a few extra storage containers (some people even do their baking cookies and cakes).
With Christmas literally around the corner, I was thinking after a week of preparations and cooking up a storm for the Christmas feast wouldn't it be great to have the following week off from cooking?

Well lets think about this and break it down. Go and have a look in you pantry and take inventory then do the same for your fridge and freezer. Now you know what is in them grab yourself a coffee and a pen and paper and grab a few of your favourite cooking books and start to think of meals that you can make for dinner during the week that can be frozen and then reheated. Now think instead of making just enough for the family for one night now double it for two nights, and if it is a family favourite maybe 3. In these hot and humid days even different salads stay well in the fridge you just might have to have those sides used earlier than others or even tinned salad side. While you are making the meal for that night you are also making it for the next week.

I've done this a couple of time now and I tell you what I don't have to worry about what to decide for dinner or even on a busy day trying to get home to cook it in time for the family to enjoy and whingeing at me "when's dinner ready?" at 7/7:30 at night when in reality they should be getting ready to settle down for bed.

So I'm thinking..... I might have a 'No cooking week' from Boxing Day till New Years off from cooking..... mmmmm, I think I might. Now I put the challenge out.... Who is going to join me and enjoy the celebrations by giving yourself a prezzy for a whole week of no cooking?????

I'm always interested in new recipes for these 'No cooking weeks' so if you have found one that works and the whole family loves I would be interested to know, and I'm sure as all those busy mums and dads would like to know too. For those who have been able to spread their 'No cooking week' even longer..... Do tell!!

Well I'll leave you with it and can't wait to see who is going to join me in this coming week of 'double batching'. Have a great festive weekend and I'll talk to you all on Monday for my next article.

from my heart to yours,

Peta